these steps toward balance

Friends, it seems that Intense Debate, the platform I use for comments, has not been sending emails to anyone when I reply to comments. This means that, all this time, I have thought that you were receiving my replies to your comments and questions, and you haven't. It is important to me to reply to comments in some way, either by responding on my blog or by visiting your blog and commenting, so I am distressed by this. I have contacted Intense Debate to try and fix this and in the meantime, I apologize!



My Monday post of last week led, in scattered way, to much thought (again!) on where I am right now in this little life of mine. It is a constant re-titration, isn't it?

On Monday night, I read all your comments to my post, which were all so thoughtful and so in tune with where I am. Within that same hour,

1. I received an email from local friend saying she loves many of the blogs she has linked to from mine, loves the creativity, but that she wonders that one could spend their lives reading about other people's lives and not living their own. She put into words something I have been thinking about for a long time.
2. I had another email exchange from a local friend whose husband is working similar hours with a similar commute to Mike's. She was asking how I maintain my sanity. Because I have to. Lately, I really have been maintaining my sanity, which almost worries me more than my losing it. Does that make any sense at all? It means I am becoming acclimated to this horrible schedule Mike is on, away from us. This saddens me. (Although I am incredibly grateful for the employment.)
   
3. I had a very brief conversation with Mike (in between two very late conference calls to countries on the other side of the world) about where we are going in this life and what are our priorities right now.

Those are some heavy things to add to my brain at 10:30 pm on a Moanday.

Then, on Wednesday night, I caught up with Ginny's blog. She shared what her son had written and her response to it.

On Thursday, I read Heather's post pondering this precious life.

On Friday, I shared one small piece of my own realization that time is moving quickly.


Stewing over all of this all week, I realize I haven't been true to my steps toward balance. If I simply shift my online time from the day into the evening and neglect myself, my marriage, my home, and my own creativity, I am moving in the wrong direction.

This realization and admission, my friends, is one huge step toward balance for me. And right now, this path is leading me outside. If you see me here a day or two less each week or commenting on your blog a little less, I hope you understand.


(The photos are a series I took in an attempt to get a cute one of my kids together. It obviously didn't happen.)